I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
