i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He did a backflip because drugs
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
