I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
