wakey wakey hands off snakey
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
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