Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Randomize
