it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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