with your own penis?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
