Fuck appropriateness.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
