I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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