Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I enjoy the company of your penis
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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