you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
