I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
