If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
did i just pee glitter
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
