Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you never un-have a 4some
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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