Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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