the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
