The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
