We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
