She's JV to your varsity
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
