i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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