She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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