Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
