Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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