i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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