Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize