Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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