Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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