I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
