she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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