Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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