you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
