I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
