I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
