Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I didn't notice because vodka
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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