her vagine was all disorganized.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just invented taco cereal.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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