Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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