I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
