can u get pink eye on your cock?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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