I am spending my child support on dildos
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
