you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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