i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
