Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
