so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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