the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
