i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
