there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Randomize
