i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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