Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
