your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
