it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i permit you to call me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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