I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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