Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
