Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
